I've gone through two days in detention already. 2/8
Now... the first day I smashed, LITERALLY, my hardcover book into Rink's face. I mean, really... that was a homerun alright. Imagine using the strength you use when you're playing baseball and swinging the bat. I used THAT same technique here, but add a tad bit of rage to the formula. After I had smashed the book, I thought I would've broken some teeth in there. Luckily for me, the guy is tougher than he looks and nothing happened. That was... Day 1
Day 2. Rink somehow figured out how to use my book. He READ from it, causing a giant monster to emanate from it and almost devour us whole. Then and there a lot of things happened, which, good for me, he doesn't remember. However, for one second, Rink's eyes changed color and I saw him. I don't know if it was my need to see him, or the fact that I can't ever get him out of my mind... or that a battle like this one: dangerous and challenging makes me relive those moments with him. For one second I thought he was alive, and he was before me, cupping my face and whispering my name. But those were seconds, and seconds fly as if they never happened. I think about it now and I make myself belive it was just a dream and detention was like every other day. I make myself forget, just like he did; as if I, had been punished and entitled never to see him again. After the shock, I couldn't prevent the tears, however I covered my face. I seldom cry. IN fact, I think last time I cried was LONG ago. In a run for the money, I left the room, taking care of the tears. Then, when I was cool again I went back for my book. However it wasn't there. The book was just a copy, the original is in my own library back home, but it was one of my favorite books!
I overreacted, you know? I should've remained cool and aloof, as I usually am. But he spoke those words... words no one's supposed to know. How did he know? Forsaken words, impossible to speak words, words only taught to a few selected. Words that belong to us, the dark creatures.
What does Rink represent to me? I honestly ask myself that. What is he before me? Two days in detention and I'm already seeing my dead lover, yeah way to go. Can I keep myself from him too? This... all that I am... can I keep on keeping it to myself? One day... I'll just break into what I truly am and they won't be able to control me. BUT I CAN'T. I must calm myself down, NO ONE must know that I'm this. Even though I'm already tired of the form I have now. I am. I no longer want to be this. Being human, SUCKS.
Rink... Oh Rink. I seem to hate you and like you at the same time. I don't even know why I like you, you have given me no reason whatsoever. The only reason I can think of is that you remind me of HIM. Then... I see no other reason why to like you. I do have a lot of reasons to hate you, though. I seem to be your fucking pet: you think you can handle me and sanction me and order me around. That's all I am to you. You couldn't care less about my feelings or seem the slightest interested in me. I hate you because I thought I could like you, but unfortunately I'm not getting into the Tamara... Cecile... package. I hate you because you're selfish and vain and you're never there. You're the least dependable person ever. I see no reason whatsoever to like you. In fact, you'd be the type of person I would like to kill if I had the chance. But more than any of this, I hate you because you make me jealous and possessive and extremely angry... you break my cool and training. I hate you! I HATE YOU! I HATE you!! UGH! A LOT!! DIE RINK DIEEEEeeeeeeeee!
Breathe...
1... 2.... 3....
DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
Okay. Done. Phew.
I hate myself for what I'm about to say but... WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT JERK? I'm HOT and I'm SMART. Not only am I good in BED but I PROVIDE a nice conversation right after. Isn't that WHAT EVERY man DREAMS about? Oh, no... they prefer the STUPID, good for nothing women that just fuck and give. That's great. Regardless their origin, MEN ARE ALL THE SAME! And I really can't believe I'm even facing this kind of conflict, you know? After all, I promised myself I'd hold ALL my feelings in check. Somehow I've broken that self-made promise. In MANY occassions, mind you: I care for Eric, I do... and I care for Caterina too, that's for once. Okay, forgetting about this trail of thought... right now half of the guys in school want to date me. Not that I'd date THEM, but I bask in the attention.
This is stupid. This is.
And everytime I sound like this I just want to laugh in a corner or somewhere. No... really... Currently I'm laughing my head off. Pfft.
I got myself a new book for detention. It's also magical, but it's not dangerous. That's what I like to read after all.
Damn. *yawn*
I think Drafo will come to visit me. He's a dragon! :) But he can take human form. He's my best friend in the whole wide world, and probably the one that knows the most about me. He got a way to come here. He'll drop by last night. I love it when he comes... but our story is LONG. You know when you're COMPLETELY comfortable with someone... that's him. He's loved me for YEARS, but he has to face unrequited love alright. But we tease each other with that, though. It's like we're TOO comfortable with the other... it would never be.
(By this point I'm also wondering about Ivan... who I seldom see because of the sanction I'm going through, but who I think would stand a chance in my agenda? I don't know either... It's not like I REALLY care about relationships right now, as I've said... we'll see)
ANYWAYS. I'm going to train a little bit, and since Drafo is coming over tonight, i'm going to have some FUN!!
Finally, but not because of it the least important... I spoke to THEM, the other dark ones. We all agreed I'd have to do several missions here while the other stuff falls into place. This just means I'll have to exit the school grounds at night. But as I said... I don't need sleep, so I'll just take advantage of the nights.
Now... the first day I smashed, LITERALLY, my hardcover book into Rink's face. I mean, really... that was a homerun alright. Imagine using the strength you use when you're playing baseball and swinging the bat. I used THAT same technique here, but add a tad bit of rage to the formula. After I had smashed the book, I thought I would've broken some teeth in there. Luckily for me, the guy is tougher than he looks and nothing happened. That was... Day 1
Day 2. Rink somehow figured out how to use my book. He READ from it, causing a giant monster to emanate from it and almost devour us whole. Then and there a lot of things happened, which, good for me, he doesn't remember. However, for one second, Rink's eyes changed color and I saw him. I don't know if it was my need to see him, or the fact that I can't ever get him out of my mind... or that a battle like this one: dangerous and challenging makes me relive those moments with him. For one second I thought he was alive, and he was before me, cupping my face and whispering my name. But those were seconds, and seconds fly as if they never happened. I think about it now and I make myself belive it was just a dream and detention was like every other day. I make myself forget, just like he did; as if I, had been punished and entitled never to see him again. After the shock, I couldn't prevent the tears, however I covered my face. I seldom cry. IN fact, I think last time I cried was LONG ago. In a run for the money, I left the room, taking care of the tears. Then, when I was cool again I went back for my book. However it wasn't there. The book was just a copy, the original is in my own library back home, but it was one of my favorite books!
I overreacted, you know? I should've remained cool and aloof, as I usually am. But he spoke those words... words no one's supposed to know. How did he know? Forsaken words, impossible to speak words, words only taught to a few selected. Words that belong to us, the dark creatures.
What does Rink represent to me? I honestly ask myself that. What is he before me? Two days in detention and I'm already seeing my dead lover, yeah way to go. Can I keep myself from him too? This... all that I am... can I keep on keeping it to myself? One day... I'll just break into what I truly am and they won't be able to control me. BUT I CAN'T. I must calm myself down, NO ONE must know that I'm this. Even though I'm already tired of the form I have now. I am. I no longer want to be this. Being human, SUCKS.
Rink... Oh Rink. I seem to hate you and like you at the same time. I don't even know why I like you, you have given me no reason whatsoever. The only reason I can think of is that you remind me of HIM. Then... I see no other reason why to like you. I do have a lot of reasons to hate you, though. I seem to be your fucking pet: you think you can handle me and sanction me and order me around. That's all I am to you. You couldn't care less about my feelings or seem the slightest interested in me. I hate you because I thought I could like you, but unfortunately I'm not getting into the Tamara... Cecile... package. I hate you because you're selfish and vain and you're never there. You're the least dependable person ever. I see no reason whatsoever to like you. In fact, you'd be the type of person I would like to kill if I had the chance. But more than any of this, I hate you because you make me jealous and possessive and extremely angry... you break my cool and training. I hate you! I HATE YOU! I HATE you!! UGH! A LOT!! DIE RINK DIEEEEeeeeeeeee!
Breathe...
1... 2.... 3....
DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
Okay. Done. Phew.
I hate myself for what I'm about to say but... WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT JERK? I'm HOT and I'm SMART. Not only am I good in BED but I PROVIDE a nice conversation right after. Isn't that WHAT EVERY man DREAMS about? Oh, no... they prefer the STUPID, good for nothing women that just fuck and give. That's great. Regardless their origin, MEN ARE ALL THE SAME! And I really can't believe I'm even facing this kind of conflict, you know? After all, I promised myself I'd hold ALL my feelings in check. Somehow I've broken that self-made promise. In MANY occassions, mind you: I care for Eric, I do... and I care for Caterina too, that's for once. Okay, forgetting about this trail of thought... right now half of the guys in school want to date me. Not that I'd date THEM, but I bask in the attention.
This is stupid. This is.
And everytime I sound like this I just want to laugh in a corner or somewhere. No... really... Currently I'm laughing my head off. Pfft.
I got myself a new book for detention. It's also magical, but it's not dangerous. That's what I like to read after all.
Damn. *yawn*
I think Drafo will come to visit me. He's a dragon! :) But he can take human form. He's my best friend in the whole wide world, and probably the one that knows the most about me. He got a way to come here. He'll drop by last night. I love it when he comes... but our story is LONG. You know when you're COMPLETELY comfortable with someone... that's him. He's loved me for YEARS, but he has to face unrequited love alright. But we tease each other with that, though. It's like we're TOO comfortable with the other... it would never be.
(By this point I'm also wondering about Ivan... who I seldom see because of the sanction I'm going through, but who I think would stand a chance in my agenda? I don't know either... It's not like I REALLY care about relationships right now, as I've said... we'll see)
ANYWAYS. I'm going to train a little bit, and since Drafo is coming over tonight, i'm going to have some FUN!!
Finally, but not because of it the least important... I spoke to THEM, the other dark ones. We all agreed I'd have to do several missions here while the other stuff falls into place. This just means I'll have to exit the school grounds at night. But as I said... I don't need sleep, so I'll just take advantage of the nights.
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